Yeah, I’m going to start a workshop on this topic. This is purely for single only because I’m still single mar. I neither have enough experience to give a relationship workshop on salvaging a marriage nor enough experience to deal with nonsense boyfriend/girlfriend or distraction – those who sometime show interest and sometime don’t want. So I can only bring you to the level of finding part, ya! The rest is up to how ‘emo’ you can connect to the other person and how much each of you wants to be in each other life. Hopefully, your ‘emo’ connection is positive and part of positive value that you can give in your life time.
So in this workshop you get to know when you’re likely to meet your soul-mate, where is the likelihood you’ll be meeting this person and what kind of quality your soul-mate may display. However, what I feel most important of all is to know your own value in life so hopefully you find someone who share your value or if not, at least want to bring part of your value into his/her life. Your value is what you have to offer in the long run so keep adding it. It is also important to know your value well because negative emotional charged people will downgrade you and make you feel inadequate. It is very different from the people who want the best for you and giving you a constructive criticism.
Remember anyone can love you when the sun is shining… but in the storm is where you learn who truly cares for you…. Most of the time I feel like, there are people putting me in the storm more often than not and test my patient, so my blame story goes… Hahaha! Just joking
This is one of the article, “How to Love” I think everyone should read. I pull down parts and bits of the article in Italic below which I like best. This is what I truly belief how love should be practiced and hopefully I have done some of it right although not most of it because I’m only just mortal ler… When you are emotional charged, things can become sensitive and you reacted emotionally rather than rationally. This kind of reaction, often times, are negative.
“Neediness (insecurity or low self-esteem) and so forth. Love isn’t a tool for using people or binding them to your side; if you find yourself calling these actions “love,” it may be a good idea to investigate what other people mean by love.”
I’m a very independent person or so I think. I feel one should be comfortable around each other but not clingy. Every person is responsible for their own life and being in relationship you added another responsibility, your other half well-being become your concern too. Having say that, entering a relationship should be relaxed, easy-going and a happy one. It should not come with demand and pressure of any kind.
“Loving yourself is not about putting yourself before others — that’s another form of confusion. Loving yourself is about having self-respect, discovering what really makes you tick, and spending your life being true to your real talents.”
I think self-respect is important and respecting other is as important too. Respect most of all is earned and not given. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. It is a practice and should come automatically to everyone and not selective individuals.
“Actively show love… Know, too, that there are other ways to express love when “I love you” doesn’t seem appropriate. “You mean a great deal to me,” “You inspire me,” “You are the most amazing person I’ve ever known,” and “I am a better person for having known you” are just a few of the ways that people say “I love you” without.”
Hahaha! This is not my forte. I think this also part of our Asia culture and upbringing that put duty and responsibility first. However, sometimes being vocal is better than silent. Every relationship can only starts with a good communication and understanding.
“Love unconditionally. Love is something from which you shouldn’t expect anything in return. Sometimes, you shall give without receiving. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations or requests to your love — this is often called “emotional bribery,” or just bribery — then you’re not talking about love at all; you’re talking about a transaction.”
“If your love for someone doesn’t want them to be happy, but rather in asking how that person can enhance your life, or ensure your well-being, you’re mistaking love for something else.”
If a person walk into you and able to make you see and bring out a different perspective in your love life especially from “emotional bribery” to an understanding and caring person, keep him/her at your side because this is what soul-mate is all about. They give you new perspective in every aspect of your life, which is a better than what you currently have. Soul-mate is not just a person who you feel a connection to but he/she also bring out the best in you.
If the person has a fixated ideal in what relationship should be and not that you agree on, even if he/she has a connection with you, you are not the right person for each other. For something to start, two persons must be on the same page.
“Expecting nothing in return doesn’t mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Although it’s helpful to realize that people have different ways of showing their love, if someone abuses your love, be aware of what’s happening.”
This is why you must first know your value.
“Love does not compartmentalize — it sees a person as a whole, rather than focusing on a part you dislike and turning that disliked part into the person’s whole. Love doesn’t judge; it tolerates the differences, accepting the choices people make for themselves in life.”
“It does not make you a bad person to desire someone else’s love, even if they do not love you. However, to truly love someone, you must let them be free. It is selfish to blame them for your feelings.”
“Never seek to force love. You can try but you’ll find fear, neediness and insecurity, not love.”
True! I’ve seen people who do this. They threaten with all sort of things to get their other half attention. To me it is a kind of suffering in its own.
At the end of day, your character and value determine what type of people come into your life so seek to understand your emotion better. Too much or too little of each element below will influence your emotional reaction. Emotional wellness is important and positive factor in any form of relationship. Bazi is about bringing this awareness to you consciously so you can actively change what you don’t like and what’s not beneficial to you. Bazi too can show you what kind of expectation you have in a relationship whether it is positive and realistic or overboard. For example in my case, a friend star is seen in the Spouse Palace. This indicates that among other things that come with a relationship, the person has to be my friend, who I can be comfy with, if he can be my BBF, then it is for the best. This may not be what I have in mind but this is what I need as indicates in the Bazi. For other it can be wealth element, and there is nothing wrong with it. Having financial security is also part of a person’s well-being in life. I’ll add more of this info. when I’m done researching for my workshop about finding the ONE.
Meanwhile if you interested to come for this one day workshop, do email me.